One thing that gets me frostbitten are people who copy and take credit for my blustery pranks. One group, who will remain nameless, did a below zero performance of me that came out like absolute slush. After watching this arctic fail, I had time to thaw and write this letter to them.
Hey Jerks ...with cameras,
You guys think you’re hot stuff? Well you’re skating on some pretty thin ice.
I wish you could see my face right now. Dark charred eyes gazing into your soul, as I slowly exhale from my frozen carrot. Normally, I’m a pretty warm guy. But it’s frosted fakes like you that really make me Freaky.
Just as I finished the highlight reel for my big celebration (100,000,000 Views) I was stormed with a flurry of emails congratulating me on a new appearance on MTV. This news was icing on the cake. The final MTV clip to compliment my library featuring my pranks on Jay Leno, Good Morning America, Ellen, Queen Latifah, Hannity, Tosh.0 and more. Much to our surprise it was not a MTV feature of me, but of an ice-sickle eating imposter. An incredibly poor prank performance and absolute infringement on my intellectual property.
I also see in your trailer that my snowman scare prank isn’t the only stolen Intellectual property you have helped yourself to, but it appears most of the concepts on your show are robbed through your unique and genius ability to use google search, copy, and paste. For the record; EdBassMaster had over 10M+ views as a bush before you jerks even knew what a bush prank was and PranksChannel had 2.5M+ views with their Alien Scare Pranks before challenging the Providence Police Department on their unlawful efforts to remove them from the city. By the way, they won and enjoyed their civil rights. And in our case... I will too.
But hey. I’m just snow, what do I know? Ask your MTV social media team for a second opinion. They were buried under an avalanche of facebook comments made by hundreds of frostbitten pranksters and fans from YouTube. And did I mention they abandoned their twitter # campaign to focus on deleting the facebook comments in real time? I have the screenshots sitting on ice.
Anyway, putting aside my stolen intellectual property for just a moment, I’d like to congratulate you on the most incredible snowbag prank you jerks have pulled off yet. Taking your financiers and executives for an ice bath - the BIG FREEZE. Burrr… is it gettin’ cold in here?
MTV wanted 2 things from your show;
1. Revenue and 2. Relationships with new viewers.
All you achieved was freezing a wall of ice between the prank community and MTV.
But in your defense, the executives shouldn’t have trusted a bunch of jerks with cameras to come up with original content anyway. You can’t even put your pants on right... It’s MTV’s responsibility to find the qualified people to do the job. And you guys obviously either had Daddy make a call for you or MTV seriously needed to fill the time slot.
Finally, I’m sorry you flopped on your big chance to be MTV’s latest Jersey Shore popoff. But, there is always time to learn prank etiquette and re-apply those “talents” of yours. PranksChannel has an intern program here: www.dontstealmyideas.pranks
Oh, and if you’re looking for other our original content and ideas to snowball off of, be careful and check out my new winter prank friend, “Eddie the Yeti.” Anyway, the snow must go on.
The first, and the only real,
Freaky the Scary Snowman.